I’d like to know: what’s sex like with The Niftian? -N.D.
The Niftian: Uhh...
Sasha: I’ll answer that one! It’s absolutely fucking amazing!!! He makes a sexual encounter feel so passionate and raw. From the biting to the licking, it’s like being on an Ecstasy high.
The Niftian: You’ve done Ecstasy?
Sasha: Shut up. Anyway, the oral is freaking…there’s no words for it. The way he moves his tongue gets me horny just thinking about it! It’s like he sings gospel hymns while he’s eating the pussy! I know for a fact that he has taken me to heaven and back multiple times. The dick game is just “A++++++++!” He’s a freaking porn star; his mission is to make you cum OVER AND OVER AND OVER. So, if you want to take the chance to experience The Niftian, buckle your seat belt because it’s going to be a rough, hot, sex-driven ride!
The Niftian: Damn! Thank you…and you know you’re not getting paid for your responses, right? Anyhoo, for the reading audience, I know that some of you will doubt me, but I can assure you that I did NOT write Sasha’s response. Although her screen name is a pseudonym, her responses are real: this advice column is co-written by two people…although that last question wasn’t really for advice, LOL. She’s right, though: I look at sex like a journey, and it’s my job to please my partner. Thank you for the ego boost, Sasha!
Sasha: You’re welcome! So…when are you coming back to Virginia?
The Niftian: Ha…next question!
What’s the best lube for anal? -E.H.
Sasha: I don’t do anal, so I don’t know.
The Niftian: Every time that I’ve had anal sex with a woman, she preferred to suck and lick on my shaft and used a LOT of saliva. Any other woman that I know (and did not have sex with) always seemed to prefer AstroGlide. As a matter of fact, I’ll defer to my e-buddy Aja of www.chokesngags.com for her take:
Aja: Lot’s o’ lube: AstroGlide, or any other brand…or nature’s favorite: spit. [Make sure to] choose a good position for yourself. On (…) tummy is a classic.
The Niftian: I’ve always heard that straddling the dick is a good position because it allows you greater control over the speed and depth. You can also refer to http://chokesngags.tumblr.com/post/27734749187/do-it. Ultimately, I suggest trying different oil based lubricants and seeing which ones allows you most comfort. I’d say shy away from any numbing lubes because you want to be able to feel if something is going wrong down there (i.e. tearing). Happy ass fucking; let us know how it turns out!
How do you get the pre-kid wild sex back? There's no lack of sex in the household, it's just not as wild and passionate as it used to be. -B.R.
The Niftian: I’ll say this a million times, that you have to communicate. The obvious change is that there is now a little one running around the house that takes away from the sexual chemistry that you had before. Maybe changing diapers and breastfeeding don’t quite do it for ya’. That’s fine, but you need to talk things over with your significant other and figure out a plan. What did you do before that you miss? Do they miss it as well?
Sasha: I say the best thing to do is role play, or bring toys into the equation, watch porn with your man. Explore yourself to figure out what will make you hit the pre-kid sex peak. Get buck wild.
The Niftian: Those are all awesome ideas, but talk things out and see what makes your moist/hard. You should know, at this point, what your significant other likes/dislikes and what turns them on. Take some time to formulate a plan that you know will really stir them up and place that freakiness into action!
Here we go, the first series of our Sex Talk blog. Here Sasha and I will be fielding all of your questions about ALL things sex related. Between the two of us, there is a lot of experience in this room. And for every thing that we don’t know, please believe we will find it out. So, without further ado, let’s get this show rocking with four questions, eh?
1)What's the best way to tell your man you wanna lick his ass?
Sasha: *face palm* Is this a female that wants to do this?! Let me stop laughing…
**five minutes later, she is still laughing**
Okay. Uhm. What I would say is that I wouldn't really tell him straightforward that I want to lick his ass. I would tell him that I wanted to…*starts laughing again*
The Niftian: Give her a moment, y’all. This is a new experience for her.
Sasha: Okay I would say to first make sure it's clean. Secondly, don't tell him. Surprise him with it. Tell him you want to do something kinky. Lay at the edge of the bed with your head hanging off the bed and suck his balls. While doing that you have an open opportunity to lick his ass. Or you can just sit down with him and say “Babe, I want to lick your ass." Surprising him is better though.
The Niftian: I wholeheartedly disagree. You go surprising a man in this day and age with sticking your tongue in his butt and it may be the very last thing that you do on this Earth. Besides, I’ve been hearing some crazy stories lately about some guys who haven’t practicing proper hygiene. Do you want that surprise when you go into the downtown alley on your man? I think not. Best be prepared, and the surest way to do that is to talk to him. Let him know what your intentions are.
If he is flat out and downright against it, best not try it. You’ll be alright. If he seems like it may be ok to try at least once or if he seems hesitant, then what you could possibly do is this: While going down on him one day/night, continue to stroke his shaft and lick his balls as you casually, and slowly, make your way to his perineum (the area between the base of the balls and the asshole). A lot of tongue action is necessary. You start using fingers down there and you’re likely to lose that finger! Gauge his reaction much like you would want him to gauge yours while going down on you. If he tenses up, back off a little and take it slow; use more tongue. If he seems relaxed with it all, proceed forward. Don’t be too strong or hardcore the first time around. But most importantly, talk to him about it first. You should know him better than damn near anyone else. You would know what he likes and dislikes, but he may also surprise you. You’ll never know unless you just flat out ask.
2) I got a good man but his peter is on the small/average side...I want sex 4 times a day and he wants it like 2 times a week. How do I compromise and he won't take pills (tried that…)?
Sasha: Add toys into the mix. Explain to him that you need to feed your appetite, you need more sex. If he isn't willing to give your more sex, then start pleasing yourself. Get a dildo or a rabbit and go to town with it. Even when a man lets you down, the dildo won’t.
The Niftian: Well, there’s nothing that you can do about the size of his penis. That’s what he was born with, so there’s no need to complain. As for the amount of sex, that’s different. I agree with Sasha. Tell him that you feel as if your relationship is lacking in that department. Go to a sex shop and find some books and/or games that may spice up your sex life. Maybe he just feels as if things are stagnant. Most importantly, talk to him and see if there is something going on with his end. He might be stressing about work and just isn’t in the mood to make love.
3) What is the best position for anal so it won't hurt as much when u got a huge black dick going in?
Sasha: **laughing again** There really isn't a good position for anal, it hurts regardless. I prefer to lay on my side. Doesn't hurt as bad and it gives you control.
The Niftian: I can’t speak from experience on this one, but I’ve been told that, in addition to using a lot of lubrication, the woman on top position is ideal because it allows you the opportunity to control the speed, the thrust, and the action. Try that on for size…or try a not so huge, not so black, dick.
4) Well, my sexual partner, not my boyfriend, keeps telling me he wants to try something new. Well the “new" is he wants me to lick his booty. This is something I've never done before or interested in doing. Sooooooo, what do I do?
Sasha: Tell him no!!!! If he wants somebody's tongue near a booty, tell him to lick your booty!!!
The Niftian: I couldn’t have said it better myself, Sasha! If you were interested in trying it, then by all means, go for it! But since you have no plans on riding that wave, let him politely and yet sternly know that you’re not down for that. Since he’s not your boyfriend, you should have no qualms about kicking his ass to the curb if he can’t respect your wishes.
Alright, that’s all that we have for now. I’d love for us to make this a weekly thing, but in order for that to happen, y’all need to send us your questions. Nothing is taboo here! No matter what your orientation, lifestyle or choice, we answer them all! Send your inquiries to TheNiftian@gmail.com or inbox me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TheNiftian and I’ll make sure to get it in the rotation. You have questions, and we have answers. We’ll answer them anonymously and honestly. Bring them on and we hope to see you next week!
Your significant other not pleasing you? You want to try something new in bed but are too afraid to ask? Curious about trying a new position? Ask our resident experts, The Niftian & Sasha, and get unadulterated, experienced, passionate answers to your every inquiry! Send questions to TheNiftian@gmail.com